I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
