1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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