You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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