it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
