A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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