you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
