How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
