physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
