so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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