you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
