I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
