I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
