At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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