Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
