Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Randomize
