Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
