Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
