I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
