i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
