did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
