I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
