why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
