It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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