i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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