Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
