i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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