Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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