porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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