He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
MIDGETS
????
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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