literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
