he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
