He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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