I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
