oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
