Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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