Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
