so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
