opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My vagina is very pro this idea
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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