No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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