He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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