"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
