GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Come on in and take your pants off
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
