I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
