your thong is hanging out like whoa
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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