1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
