Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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