I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
