I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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