I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
