haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
