If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
